02-18-2018, 02:56 AM
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]Hello there Internet,[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]Let me start off by saying thank you for taking the time to read of my plight, and I hope that even if you choose to not help me, you’re a little more aware of an issue that may seem so distant and foreign to you, but could actually be inside someone very, very close. If you find yourself confused about anything, I’ve included links for your convienience for information!
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[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I’ve been a misfit for a long, long time, and for years I always felt off about myself. I despised my uniform in the sixth grade, and eventually became so withdrawn and depressed because I was so alone. I couldn’t truly love myself, so how could I spare it to others? It was so draining, and the constant mental stream of torment wouldn’t stop.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I’d wake up in the morning, and hate what stared back at me in the morning. I’d cry when I’d see my waist and below in the shower, and eventually retreated to only wearing baggy clothes. I’d been called a pretty face, but for some reason I wanted nothing to do with it, I couldn’t love it like others did.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I later in my life learned that this was called body-dysmorphia, where I literally felt like my body wasn’t the one that I should have. This is pocked with many, many other small instances in my growing up that, coupled with anxiety and depression, made it nearly impossible for me to identify myself and be at peace.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]However, in the winter of my senior year in high school, I understood what all had been haunting me all these years; it wasn’t myself only that I hated, not only the body, but everything that had been pushed and assigned to it. After some research on gender and what body-dysmorphia commonly causes, I came to the conclusion that I was indeed the t in the LGBT, transgender. [/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]This is huge for me. I’ve been closeted since then, keeping it in me and letting it fester and boil into something that’ll make me cry, and the one time I tried to talk about it, I was shot down by my closest friend, saying it was a phase. Now that I’m at university, that’ll all change though.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I have a chance now to finally express myself, however, that’ll be a bit difficult on my own. You see, I come from a very, very strict religious Asian family, with heavily traditional values. I have no desire to completely botch myself with surgeries, but the desire to appear the way ive dreamed and drawn since 7th grade has been persistent. [/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]My family is the main reason I need to now be driven to ask for money, as they track all my expenses with an obsessive eye and if they find out about my state, will cut me off and leave me for dead. Which is why I’ve been trying my best to express how I am only when I am sure that they are not around, or when I’m at Uni. That is why my preferred method of having money is through PayPal (paypal.me/MLoheka), as I can also immediately use it on ebay anonymously to purchase any items (which have been made on a friend of mine’s ebay account as a list, which can be requested.)[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I’ve been blessed enough to find a very cheap therapist, who will help me navigate through these thoughts and charges with me, as well as finding someone to help me anonymously procure the gear and clothing that’ll transform this feminine lifeform into something that I won’t hate seeing all the time.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]If you have any questions, want proof, or even want to chat, feel free to send a message my way, thank you so much for your time![/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]Yours Truly,[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]Alois-Léon
[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]Let me start off by saying thank you for taking the time to read of my plight, and I hope that even if you choose to not help me, you’re a little more aware of an issue that may seem so distant and foreign to you, but could actually be inside someone very, very close. If you find yourself confused about anything, I’ve included links for your convienience for information!
[/color][color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I’ve been a misfit for a long, long time, and for years I always felt off about myself. I despised my uniform in the sixth grade, and eventually became so withdrawn and depressed because I was so alone. I couldn’t truly love myself, so how could I spare it to others? It was so draining, and the constant mental stream of torment wouldn’t stop.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I’d wake up in the morning, and hate what stared back at me in the morning. I’d cry when I’d see my waist and below in the shower, and eventually retreated to only wearing baggy clothes. I’d been called a pretty face, but for some reason I wanted nothing to do with it, I couldn’t love it like others did.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I later in my life learned that this was called body-dysmorphia, where I literally felt like my body wasn’t the one that I should have. This is pocked with many, many other small instances in my growing up that, coupled with anxiety and depression, made it nearly impossible for me to identify myself and be at peace.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]However, in the winter of my senior year in high school, I understood what all had been haunting me all these years; it wasn’t myself only that I hated, not only the body, but everything that had been pushed and assigned to it. After some research on gender and what body-dysmorphia commonly causes, I came to the conclusion that I was indeed the t in the LGBT, transgender. [/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]This is huge for me. I’ve been closeted since then, keeping it in me and letting it fester and boil into something that’ll make me cry, and the one time I tried to talk about it, I was shot down by my closest friend, saying it was a phase. Now that I’m at university, that’ll all change though.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I have a chance now to finally express myself, however, that’ll be a bit difficult on my own. You see, I come from a very, very strict religious Asian family, with heavily traditional values. I have no desire to completely botch myself with surgeries, but the desire to appear the way ive dreamed and drawn since 7th grade has been persistent. [/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]My family is the main reason I need to now be driven to ask for money, as they track all my expenses with an obsessive eye and if they find out about my state, will cut me off and leave me for dead. Which is why I’ve been trying my best to express how I am only when I am sure that they are not around, or when I’m at Uni. That is why my preferred method of having money is through PayPal (paypal.me/MLoheka), as I can also immediately use it on ebay anonymously to purchase any items (which have been made on a friend of mine’s ebay account as a list, which can be requested.)[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]I’ve been blessed enough to find a very cheap therapist, who will help me navigate through these thoughts and charges with me, as well as finding someone to help me anonymously procure the gear and clothing that’ll transform this feminine lifeform into something that I won’t hate seeing all the time.[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]If you have any questions, want proof, or even want to chat, feel free to send a message my way, thank you so much for your time![/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]Yours Truly,[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8)]Alois-Léon
[/color]