06-25-2023, 08:27 PM
Hi y’all! Im a 41 year old mother of two teenage boys. Im currently trying to leave an almost 21 year emotionally and physically abusive relationship, 19 of those years being married and I’ve come to ask for help. For the majority of my relationship I was unable to work but not because I was physically unable to perform, simply because it wasn’t allowed. For as long as I can remember, my husband was very controlling. When the relationship first began, I kind of thought it was cute. I saw it as him being protective rather than controlling. I would do everything for this man and I never complained because that’s what a wife is supposed to do, take care of her husband right? It didn’t take too long before I started to see another side to him. I got pregnant with our first son about 5 months after we got together and it soon got worse. That Christmas Eve, I was 4 months along when he put his hands on me for the first time. We had gotten into an argument and I told him I wanted to leave and I also made the mistake of blurting out “I hate you”. I slammed the bedroom door shut and not knowing what was coming next, I sat at the foot of the bed crying when he came barreling back into the room. He grabbed me by my shoulders and slammed his head into mine. After the headbutt I was in total shock, I laid back on the bed not knowing the damage that had been done. I felt something warm dripping down my face and I assumed it was tears or maybe sweat but when I ran my hands across my face and looked down at them, they were covered in blood. He had split my forehead wide open. I screamed in horror and he ran back into the room. When he saw what he had done, he grabbed me and hugged me and cried, begging for forgiveness. It would be a few years before he did it again. We had another son two years later and that’s when things started taking a turn for the worse. I could sit here and write a novel telling you everything he has done to me but rather than carrying on I would rather suggest you ask if you have any further questions or we’ll be here all night listening to me ramble on. As the years went on, the abuse got worse. I was sheltered, almost like being a prisoner. I couldn’t have friends or leave the house without him with me or having permission to do so. I wasn’t able to work because if I worked, I would have outside communication with others and a means to leave him if I chose to do so. He is a narcissist in every sense of the word. I also recently found out that he has had several affairs during our relationship and I have had enough. I’m tired of being broken and bruised, always crying and being away from my friends and family who love me. I need help desperately to get out of here. He is currently working out of town and won’t be home for several weeks so now is my time to break free but having no income and being 1000 miles away from family makes that nearly impossible! I’m trying to raise enough money to get a place of my own, far away from him in a place he can’t find me. This is the last chance I have to save my life!!