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Help with ED recovery - Printable Version

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Help with ED recovery - FullMetalAvatar - 01-12-2022

Hi everyone,

This really is a desperate throw to wind here, but I'll just try to explain what I'm dealing with. I'm 21 years old, and I have suffered from various eating disorders since I was 14 years old. It started out as othorexia, then anorexia, then I just outright didn't eat for a week before eventually developing bulimia which is what I still have now. It's been a constant battle of therapy, anti-depressants, and hospital visits with no help in sight. I've asked and begged my doctors for help on countless occasions, only to be told that my body weight isn't a cause for concern. About a year ago, during the pandemic, things got to an all time low. I tried to take my own life, but I failed of course, which led to more doctors visits and tests. Turns out I have low potassium, which puts me at a very high risk of heart failure at pretty much any time I purge. I was referred to a rehabilitation centre, and after applying and pouring my heart out to them, they considered my application. I started to feel something again, a will to live, a drive to get better. I had my consultation over zoom where I explained everything to the nurse in charge of admitting patients. She listened, and I felt so hopeful I would finally see an end to this nightmare, only for her to explain that they are only admitting limited patients and that I "don't meet the threshold for inpatient care."
I was crushed.
Since then I have lost all real drive to get better, I can't go through the referral process again just to be told I'm basically too fat to get help. I really didn't know what else to do. 
Fast forward to last week, and my mum was speaking to a customer who just so happened to be a nurse at an inpatient clinic. She explained the situation I'm in to her, and was told to look at private care, as it's realistically the only real option for me. (P.S I live in the UK so everything else was on the NHS). We looked into it, and fell silent. The cost of going to a private clinic is way more than I could ever hope to achieve, but I'm not ready to completely give up. My mum refuses to give up on me, and I can't let her down, not again. 
I am here basically to just, ask, or plead someone ANYONE to help me out. I genuinely cannot keep going on like this anymore. Getting help is the final straw for me, and if I cant? I really don't see the point of carrying on anymore. I'm sorry to beg, I have NEVER asked strangers for money in my life, but i truly can't keep going anymore. Please, i just need some hope, anything to get me on the right path and finding a way to a normal life. 
If you've made it this far, I thank you just for taking the time. I appreciate that so much on it's own. 

(P.s: This is the centre that I made an enquiry at, feel free to take a look: https://www.priorygroup.com/priory-treatment-programmes/residential-inpatient-treatment)