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Single and searching for love
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Article about single and searching for love:
Here s 10 Tips to Finding Love After 40
Being 40 and single has its own unique challenges. Dating coach Adam LoDolce has tips to help you find love later in life. 40 and Single?

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Here’s 10 Tips to Finding Love After 40. Now that you’re 40 and single, things look a lot different than they did when you were in your 20s and single. You’ve been hurt in relationships…and might even be divorced. You might have young kids…or be an empty nester. Whatever your specific situation, you might think that, at this age, there’s no one out there for you. Sorry to say: you’re wrong! There absolutely is someone out there who’s right for you, who’s even better than any of your past relationships. It’s just a matter of you being open to how and where you meet him. Tips to Finding Love When You’re 40 and Single. Don’t let being 40 and single frustrate you! I know that whatever you’ve been through has made you a skeptic when it comes to changing your status from being 40 and single. But take it from me, the guy who has helped thousands of women — many of whom were 40 or older — find the love of their lives. Yes, dating after 40 looks different than it used to. But consider this: you’re smarter than you were in your 20s, and you have enough experience in love and life to know what’s worth pursuing and what’s not. To help you find love at this point in your life, I have some customized tips to help you go from being 40 and single…to being 40 and in love! 1. Avoid Coming on Too Strong, It Can Scare Some Guys Away. You look at a first date like a job interview, only you’re the one doing the interviewing. Where are you from? Have you ever been married? Got kids? What are you looking for? I know you’re tired of the BS that comes with dating, and I know you don’t want to waste time on the wrong guys, but remember to make it fun! The truth is, while you want a long-term relationship, if you eliminate guys who don’t instantly say that’s what they’re looking for, you might miss out on some pretty great opportunities to get to know cool men. And you never know: you might have insane chemistry with a guy you start dating…even if there’s no long-term potential. So you might decide to keep things casual. If you start at the outset making it clear you’re looking for your next husband, not only will you limit yourself, but you’ll also freak him out. Realize that a man is more likely to want a relationship with a woman who is confident, independent, and funny than one who’s grilling him about every aspect of his life. 2. Do Not Wall Away Your Heart. Being vulnerable is okay, it’s where the love pours in. The more you’ve been hurt in past relationships, the harder it is not to do this, and I get it. As psychotherapist and blogger Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D. , says on Psychology Today: “ When we lose the ability to be vulnerable and close ourselves off to love, we also lose our ability to experience the joy that comes from relationships.” So while you might try to take the Scarlet O’Hara attitude of not letting things bother you and not letting men get too close, what you’re really doing is walling yourself away from love. And truth be told: building a fortress around your heart doesn’t provide real protection from heartache. It only gives the illusion that it does. So be vulnerable. Know that you’ll get hurt…and that this is simply part of life and love. With every heartache, you’re one step closer to finding the man who won’t break your heart. Editor’s note: Ready to attract love with a proven strategy? Register for this free training to learn how to find him. 3. Don’t Make Him Do All the Work. I know some women who won’t get on the dating app Bumble because it requires women to make the first move. And despite us living in a pro-feminist society, studies show that fewer than 1 in 10 women actually make the first move (what is that, half a woman??). Maybe in your 20s you didn’t have to put out any effort to attract and date men. But things are different. Some of the men you date may have been married and been accustomed to gender equality in their relationships, changing diapers and mopping the floors while their women worked. And gender aside: who wants to be the one putting in all the effort? If the man you’re dating always initiates texts, makes plans with you, and pays for everything, sooner or later he’s going to get tired of it. Show him that you’re into him by reciprocating his effort. It’s just good karma. 4. Know Exactly What You Are Looking For In A Man. I doubt many 20-year-olds have serious lists about what they want in a partner beyond maybe being cute and a good job. Hopefully since then, your list has become a bit more…sophisticated. You have more experience in relationships and therefore know better what you want (and what you don’t). Do you care if he has kids? Do you want him to have a white-collar job, or does it matter what he does? What if he travels a ton for work? Is that a dealbreaker? Do you want family to be a priority for him? The women I’ve helped find love often start their lists with superficial features like how tall he is, what color hair he has, how fit he is. But after a while, they realize that what’s really important is the kind of person he is. Is he kind? Intelligent? Aspirational? Keep qualities like these in mind when building your list. And sure, go crazy with the physical details if you want. Just be open to what you find. 5. Don’t Limit Yourself Too Narrowly in What You Want. Speaking of being open…I know a lot of women who thought they would end up with a tall, suave CEO who has a pit bull…and they ended up with a short, balding accountant with cats. Did they settle? Not at all!













Single and searching for love


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