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Article about dating agencies not online:
There',s another way, but it',ll cost you. In best-case scenarios, thousands of dollars. In worst-case scenarios, your trust, self-esteem and even, as one Sydney woman discovered, your business.
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Inside the world of dating agencies and matchmakers, there's an expensive alternative to online apps. Sick of swiping right with the hopes of finding your romantic match? There's another way, but it'll cost you. In best-case scenarios, thousands of dollars. In worst-case scenarios, your trust, self-esteem and even, as one Sydney woman discovered, your business. Dating or introductions agencies sell themselves as high-end services, with dedicated matchmakers who'll send you hand-picked, bespoke matches, based on extensive questionnaires and a database of high-calibre" suitors who "won't be seen on dating apps". Some unhappy customers report paying thousands of dollars for inappropriate matches. Others have claimed traditional introductions agencies are a far superior way of dating than using online apps. Some have even met their long-term partner. Vinko Anthony co-founded Sydney dating agency Beau Brummell Introductions with his husband because "the way we are treated online is often degrading and demoralising". "You can't always get it right for everyone, however we never give up … Perhaps, at times, our perception of someone's life is different to their own," he says. There are dozens of matchmaking agencies across Australia in what is a largely unregulated industry. Clients can pay anywhere from a few thousand dollars to upwards of $15,000 for membership. So for those who shell out for it, how does the bespoke experience measure up? 'They're all coming to me' For some clients, the investment has been a waste of money, time and energy. When Carlee Potter, 43, joined dating agency Elite Introductions in 2019, her high expectations felt justified: She'd paid $5,000 for a year's membership. Owner and "millionaire matchmaker" Trudy Gilbert promised Potter, an IT consultant from Sydney, exclusive access to an "elite society of singles". She zoned in on Potter's exasperation with online dating, telling her: "Everyone's fed up with apps like Tinder. They're all coming to me." Do the '36 questions of love' actually work? You've probably heard about those '36 questions to find love'. But where did they come from and, more importantly, do they actually work? Gilbert says the agency has hundreds of happy matches. "We are proud of our hundreds of success stories, most from people who can't or won't use dating apps any longer," Gilbert says, "Our members sometimes meet their partner on the first match whilst others take several matches over a longer period of time." However, it wasn't smooth sailing for Potter. One man Potter was introduced to said he had not been a paying member of Elite Introductions for six years. Another introduction fulfilled few of Potter's criteria, stated on an extensive questionnaire, and was also a lapsed member. On the date, Potter discovered he was in between jobs and houses, the opposite of the calibre of man Gilbert had guaranteed for such a high membership price. However, Potter felt too guilty, initially, to complain. "Trudy was very good at making me feel unreasonable and high maintenance," she said. Alarm bells. For Potter, red flags emerged early on when Gilbert charged her $1,500 for a "no obligation" consultation, but promised to knock this off the $4,995 fee, something Potter now realises was a "pushy" sales technique. The dark side of dating. These women thought they'd met the man of their dreams. Then the lies began to unravel. "I was on the spot, and knew I'd feel too embarrassed to tell anyone I'd paid $1,500 to learn about a service," says Potter, who started a journal of all her interactions. The actual amount charged was $5,125.38. Gilbert had, without flagging it, added on a "credit card fee" of $130.38. When Potter mentioned what her dates had told her, Gilbert told her: "You cannot be asking any members about other dates. It's tacky." Other members have been told they would be banned if Gilbert heard of them discussing other dates. It was at this point, Potter's sinking feeling worsened. "I started to think, 'I've done something really stupid, parting with this much money'," she says. "I started to feel really worried I was being scammed." Then she dug deeper and discovered cases where the agency had been taken to court. The battle for a refund. In August last year, doctor Eileen Moore sought a refund of $4,995 at the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribune for her claims of being sent unsuitable matches and not receiving responses from the agency after trying on several occasions. She alleged "misleading conduct, bullying and breach of verbal contract". In May 2017, a Melbourne chartered accountant and charity board member sued Elite Introductions for a full refund of $5,107, after receiving an initial refund of $4,000 following a "messy dispute". She claimed that, in her five months of membership in 2016, there were no successful introductions, after being promised them. She also claimed that the "couple of people outside what I specified" — that she was nevertheless willing to go on a date with — also never eventuated. As far back as 2013, a judge at the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal was granting a disgruntled client of Elite Introductions a full $4,995 refund on the evidence that "the agency had not done what it was contracted to". One woman, Emma*, speaking on condition of anonymity, received a partial rebate from tribunal in 2017 for non-delivery of stated service. Dozens of women contacted her after media reporting on her tribunal claim made her look like "a privileged, fussy bimbo", she says. The unflattering coverage led to the destruction of her business because such negative stories instantly came up when prospective clients Googled her. This, Emma says, led to suicidal ideation and "one of the darkest periods of my life". "The comments on those articles still haunt me," Emma says. "I was reduced to clickbait. I begged those journalists who came to my house not to name me, but they did, and the stories blamed me, not Trudy." One engagement, but nine dissatisfied. Ten women who each paid $5,000 to use Elite Introductions came forward for this story. Their jobs include a university lecturer, a high school teacher, a PR company director, a doctor, an accountant and an IT consultant. Most of the women said they felt embarrassed or humiliated after their use of the service. What dating advice for women gets wrong. Instead of upskilling women to cope with the harm they risk in dating men, the self-help industry should focus on male behaviour. Many said Gilbert — or her co-worker — would become defensive when asked for refunds and that they had felt "bullied". Tabloid journalism trashing the reputations of the women who have seen their small claims court refund request reported in the media had deterred others from coming forward. "If your refund request makes it to court, the media is allowed to report it and, without your permission, print your name," Emma says. "They portray you as snobby, with ideas above your station, when really, you're often vulnerable after negative experiences with dating online. I was made to feel pathetic and desperate." Allira* was matched with a man who lived in Canberra.
Dating agencies not online
Article about dating agencies not online:
There',s another way, but it',ll cost you. In best-case scenarios, thousands of dollars. In worst-case scenarios, your trust, self-esteem and even, as one Sydney woman discovered, your business.
>>> GO TO SITE <<<
Inside the world of dating agencies and matchmakers, there's an expensive alternative to online apps. Sick of swiping right with the hopes of finding your romantic match? There's another way, but it'll cost you. In best-case scenarios, thousands of dollars. In worst-case scenarios, your trust, self-esteem and even, as one Sydney woman discovered, your business. Dating or introductions agencies sell themselves as high-end services, with dedicated matchmakers who'll send you hand-picked, bespoke matches, based on extensive questionnaires and a database of high-calibre" suitors who "won't be seen on dating apps". Some unhappy customers report paying thousands of dollars for inappropriate matches. Others have claimed traditional introductions agencies are a far superior way of dating than using online apps. Some have even met their long-term partner. Vinko Anthony co-founded Sydney dating agency Beau Brummell Introductions with his husband because "the way we are treated online is often degrading and demoralising". "You can't always get it right for everyone, however we never give up … Perhaps, at times, our perception of someone's life is different to their own," he says. There are dozens of matchmaking agencies across Australia in what is a largely unregulated industry. Clients can pay anywhere from a few thousand dollars to upwards of $15,000 for membership. So for those who shell out for it, how does the bespoke experience measure up? 'They're all coming to me' For some clients, the investment has been a waste of money, time and energy. When Carlee Potter, 43, joined dating agency Elite Introductions in 2019, her high expectations felt justified: She'd paid $5,000 for a year's membership. Owner and "millionaire matchmaker" Trudy Gilbert promised Potter, an IT consultant from Sydney, exclusive access to an "elite society of singles". She zoned in on Potter's exasperation with online dating, telling her: "Everyone's fed up with apps like Tinder. They're all coming to me." Do the '36 questions of love' actually work? You've probably heard about those '36 questions to find love'. But where did they come from and, more importantly, do they actually work? Gilbert says the agency has hundreds of happy matches. "We are proud of our hundreds of success stories, most from people who can't or won't use dating apps any longer," Gilbert says, "Our members sometimes meet their partner on the first match whilst others take several matches over a longer period of time." However, it wasn't smooth sailing for Potter. One man Potter was introduced to said he had not been a paying member of Elite Introductions for six years. Another introduction fulfilled few of Potter's criteria, stated on an extensive questionnaire, and was also a lapsed member. On the date, Potter discovered he was in between jobs and houses, the opposite of the calibre of man Gilbert had guaranteed for such a high membership price. However, Potter felt too guilty, initially, to complain. "Trudy was very good at making me feel unreasonable and high maintenance," she said. Alarm bells. For Potter, red flags emerged early on when Gilbert charged her $1,500 for a "no obligation" consultation, but promised to knock this off the $4,995 fee, something Potter now realises was a "pushy" sales technique. The dark side of dating. These women thought they'd met the man of their dreams. Then the lies began to unravel. "I was on the spot, and knew I'd feel too embarrassed to tell anyone I'd paid $1,500 to learn about a service," says Potter, who started a journal of all her interactions. The actual amount charged was $5,125.38. Gilbert had, without flagging it, added on a "credit card fee" of $130.38. When Potter mentioned what her dates had told her, Gilbert told her: "You cannot be asking any members about other dates. It's tacky." Other members have been told they would be banned if Gilbert heard of them discussing other dates. It was at this point, Potter's sinking feeling worsened. "I started to think, 'I've done something really stupid, parting with this much money'," she says. "I started to feel really worried I was being scammed." Then she dug deeper and discovered cases where the agency had been taken to court. The battle for a refund. In August last year, doctor Eileen Moore sought a refund of $4,995 at the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribune for her claims of being sent unsuitable matches and not receiving responses from the agency after trying on several occasions. She alleged "misleading conduct, bullying and breach of verbal contract". In May 2017, a Melbourne chartered accountant and charity board member sued Elite Introductions for a full refund of $5,107, after receiving an initial refund of $4,000 following a "messy dispute". She claimed that, in her five months of membership in 2016, there were no successful introductions, after being promised them. She also claimed that the "couple of people outside what I specified" — that she was nevertheless willing to go on a date with — also never eventuated. As far back as 2013, a judge at the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal was granting a disgruntled client of Elite Introductions a full $4,995 refund on the evidence that "the agency had not done what it was contracted to". One woman, Emma*, speaking on condition of anonymity, received a partial rebate from tribunal in 2017 for non-delivery of stated service. Dozens of women contacted her after media reporting on her tribunal claim made her look like "a privileged, fussy bimbo", she says. The unflattering coverage led to the destruction of her business because such negative stories instantly came up when prospective clients Googled her. This, Emma says, led to suicidal ideation and "one of the darkest periods of my life". "The comments on those articles still haunt me," Emma says. "I was reduced to clickbait. I begged those journalists who came to my house not to name me, but they did, and the stories blamed me, not Trudy." One engagement, but nine dissatisfied. Ten women who each paid $5,000 to use Elite Introductions came forward for this story. Their jobs include a university lecturer, a high school teacher, a PR company director, a doctor, an accountant and an IT consultant. Most of the women said they felt embarrassed or humiliated after their use of the service. What dating advice for women gets wrong. Instead of upskilling women to cope with the harm they risk in dating men, the self-help industry should focus on male behaviour. Many said Gilbert — or her co-worker — would become defensive when asked for refunds and that they had felt "bullied". Tabloid journalism trashing the reputations of the women who have seen their small claims court refund request reported in the media had deterred others from coming forward. "If your refund request makes it to court, the media is allowed to report it and, without your permission, print your name," Emma says. "They portray you as snobby, with ideas above your station, when really, you're often vulnerable after negative experiences with dating online. I was made to feel pathetic and desperate." Allira* was matched with a man who lived in Canberra.
Dating agencies not online