I might just end it

Today I wasn’t able to make the ends meet
If I una-lived myself today
My note would say 
Mother I’m sorry you have to lose 2 daughters 
I seen my mom and the way she folded after the death of my sister but 
I’m sorry I couldn’t make it out okay 
Everyday it’s harder and harder being in a place that makes survival impossible 
I’ve applied to everything but it’s as if I already don’t exist 
I’m dead inside I’m so done and over pretending to be alive I dread the moment of waking up only to realize I’m not yet passed on into the abyss of the here after. I’m so tired of working and working to always come out short on the steep end I’m closed in claustrophobic living in this unburied coffin. 
Death to my debt when I close my eyes or maybe I might leave them open after I kick the stool into the bucket. What the fuck is it why is life this hard why is it profit in foot pic switch off but as a poet im told “you make less then the modern day comiedian” kick rocks kid im 28.
This broke life I hate. 
everything that has been happening got worst after my dads death I’m not afraid to die I lack the balls to do what suspends me from the gallows no loose loops my screws are not stripped but I might pee my pants because I have no bathroom to piss in plus if I leave my car I will end up a homeless joke because it’s on the repo list and they’re here to take it. I don’t want to be here anymore guys please help anything helps please don’t judge me for being so weak but I cant take it anymore and I’m only here for my mom otherwise I would’ve been gone a long ass time ago paypal @danylee6