The Universe Hates Me

So..I have had the most horrible weekend of my life. Thursday my roommate went to jail and I had to go retrieve my truck from where he had parked it. Then while looking for someone to jump me I locked the keys in the truck. In a neighborhood that made downtown Atlanta and Seattle seem like Disney World. After 4 hours out in the 100+ degree weather and spending my last $20 on a slim jim that was useless, I finally got into it. Then it died on me in the middle of the intersection with nobody around to help me push (I am a 5'4 female, it is a mid-sized SUV). 
This was all a walk in the park compared to last night when a lighter that I had on my lap literally burst into flames setting my shirt on fire. I only ended up with a burn on one of my fingers and on my stomach, which are nothing considering what it could have been. Anyhow, I am in desperate need of $20 for gas and dog food. I have been doing surveys all morning as that is how I usually get a bit of cash in a pinch, but I have been disqualified from almost every one that I have tried today. If anyone could be so kind to help, I certainly would pay it forward on payday here in a few day.