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We are living in a time of evolving sensitivity to communities who have been disempowered. For instance, you don’t have to know someone with a disability to understand the burdens placed on people who look, or act differently, or need accommodations just to reach a level playing field. It is the sign of a vibrant society to acknowledge those who lie outside the mainstream may require change from that very mainstream.

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An Invisible Community. There is an invisible community that deserves our attention. It’s a community that can’t fight for their rights, a community that suffers from the actions of others, and yet must adjust, sometimes radically, both for the good and for the bad. You might ask how this can be possible. After all, some of these kids come from privileged homes, while others have parents who care. Some even have attorneys assigned to them. Yet, what I have discovered after countless therapy cases and offering courses in divorce, is that most of the children of divorce did not ask for this. Yet, these small people are asked to make changes that are hard, sudden and unnerving. Plus the parents they always counted on are often preoccupied, angry, betrayed or sullen, and have little constructive energy to give. They are often dis-empowered by the loss of support during a divorce. Divorce Has Value. Let's be clear - I am not taking the social warrior role against divorce. No. Divorce is a necessary part of our world. We live a short life here on this planet, and every man and woman should have the opportunity to find the peace and reward of being loved. There is nothing so awful as coming home to a place where you are not loved. It is the spiritual equivalent to chalk squeaking on the blackboard. Intolerable. So, yes, couples should divorce if there is abuse or pain that cannot be healed. And, it can be constructive for children to see their parents opting for happiness, a model to children that life is precious and we are not to be trapped. Divorce Island. The problem is that once divorce is initiated people often land in what I like to call, Divorce Island, a place where the old rules often don’t apply. Parents regress at the very moment that they need to be great parents, guiding their progeny through the process, and can fail to give them what they need. Mind you, I am not bashing parents. Hardly. But consider what many are feeling. Some feel abandoned, some are terrified about money, while some are dating like crazy and enjoying sex again like it’s gone out of style. THE BASICS. The Challenges of Divorce Find a therapist to heal from a divorce. Some are seething in rage, while others are simply depressed or grieving. Add to this picture the stigma of divorce and how many of your friends fail you. And, then add in a drawn out legal disentanglement, with the sense of injustice and dis-empowerment that can go along with it. How do you forgive? Move on? And, yet you have to raise your children through it all. No wonder people make mistakes. Thank goodness for good matrimonial attorneys (yes, they exist), mediation and collaborative law. Thank goodness for good judges (an overworked lot, but most are excellent despite the workload and daily drama). Question: Is this any way to disentangle the sacred and tender bonds of a family, the primary place in our society for love and honor? Not really. But it is the best we can do. Divorce Essential Reads. Why Women Are More Likely Than Men to Seek a Divorce. How Often Do Divorced Couples Marry Each Other Again? Mistakes Are Made – But Who Remembers? Nevertheless, within all this change and uncertainty, you have to raise your children sanely. You are pissed off at your husband because he has a new lover, and you can’t help but try to get you children to side with you. Justice? Maybe. But, don’t be surprised if years later, your children tell you they didn’t want to be pulled into the middle. You hate your wife for taking so much money…funds that you earned with hard work, perseverance, and sweat. So, you want to let the kids know that you can’t afford to live “decently” because mommy took it all. Yes, you may feel good in the moment, but you know in your gut that it’s destructive. Yet you say it anyway. Does this unhappy ex-wife or ex-husband remember what was said the next day? Probably not, most likely they have moved on. Do the children remember what was said the next day? Probably yes, and maybe for life. Welcome to Divorce Island. One Answer – The Intelligent Divorce. I designed The Intelligent Divorce Course to help families navigate divorce with, yes, intelligence. After two books, years as an expert witness in custody disputes and countless cases, I am offering a viable way. It is not that difficult to understand. Consider defensive driving. When someone gets too many tickets the government mandates that they take a course in driving, so they know the mistakes they are going to make before they make them. That is why you are taught to turn into a skid when driving on ice, which may be counter-intuitive but can save your life . Let’s also see divorce as a public health issue. Divorce Island really exists and people make mistakes that are costly to the children. There are courses on divorce in the market, but I thought what if we hire actors and animators we can more graphically show parents – early in the divorce process – the common mistakes they can make.

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Article about yours dating after divorce:
Dating After Divorce. Getting back in the saddle after ending your marriage. THE BASICS.

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The Challenges of Divorce Find a therapist to heal from a divorce. The ending of a marriage, or any long-term relationship, can make you re-evaluate everything you once knew about yourself and love. Divorce can often result in bitterness and resentment that lead many individuals to spiral out of control or immediately jump into a new relationship as an unhealthy way to fill their empty void. Although dating after divorce is standard (and often necessary), getting back in the saddle does not have to happen so quickly, especially if it is a selfish attempt to try to mend your unhealed wounds. How much time do you give yourself? You may have signed your name on the dotted line of your divorce papers, but the emotional and mental impact of divorce often takes time to process. How much time? It depends on each individual. If the individual had healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with stress before the divorce, chances are, they will continue to incorporate these positive coping skills during the divorce. For women, body image issues, going from being a mom to a divorcee, learning how to be self-sufficient, and dealing with trust issues are all difficult challenges that they often struggle with after a divorce, especially if they were in a long marriage. Wait at least one year. As a general rule, many therapists will tell their clients to wait at least one year before jumping into a new relationship. Taking a year allows you to re-adjust to a new life, mourn the loss of your divorce, become confident in your independence, and sort out any housekeeping issues, such as finding a new place to live, adapting to a new financial status, selling off any joint property, and ironing out any custody details if children are involved. Usually, the individual who initiated the divorce will have a shorter grieving process compared to the other party, who did not seek out separation. If infidelity was involved, then the wounds may cut much deeper and need more time to heal. The three main factors that contribute to how long it will take someone to overcome their divorce include the following: The length of the marriage (the longer the marriage, the longer it will take to grieve) The individual’s resiliency and desire to move forward with his/her life (an emotionally fragile individual will have a more extended grieving period compared to a resilient individual) How or why the relationship ended (catastrophic endings, such as infidelity or abuse, will usually cause deeper wounds that take longer to heal compared to marriages that ended due to mutual differences) Tips for dating after divorce. Dating is hard for anyone and can be especially hard if you have been in a marriage for the past decade or two. You probably have never used a dating app or have never been “ghosted,” as this new-age dating technology is often foreign to individuals who have been in long-term marriages. THE BASICS. The Challenges of Divorce Find a therapist to heal from a divorce.













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Finding love after 60 is possible. All you need is honest senior dating advice, information about which senior dating sites work and tips for finding someone special. 10 Best Online Dating
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Finding love after 60 is possible. All you need is honest senior dating advice, information about which senior dating sites work and tips for finding someone special. 10 Best Online Dating Tips from a Top Dating Consultant. For the past 25+ years, I have coached clients on dating – in the old days (90s and early 2000s) with matchmaking and in the 2010s and 2020s with online dating. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that there are over 100 million singles in the US alone… How Much Is Too Much? The Truth About Age Difference and Relationships. Do you see yourself with a toy-boy, or maybe you prefer a father figure image? What is the truth about age difference in relationships? Does it really matter, and how could it affect you? Let’s explore the issues. In over 20 years as a matchmaker… 5-Day Dating Rule: How to Speed Up Online Dating and Get Real Dates. Ever heard of the 5-Day Momentum Rule? It’s a very powerful concept. As a dating coach/counselor with over 25 years of dating experience, I know this for a fact! This rule has gained even more importance in the past five years as our attention… Scared of Online Dating Scams? Use These Tips! Being scammed is one of the scariest concerns you might have about dating at this time in your life. What makes it feel even scarier are the TV shows like The Tinder Swindler that recently aired on Netflix. This show depicted real-life incidents of how smart… Yes, Dating in Your 60s Can Be Fun If You Do This One Thing. I know you may not believe me when I say dating can be fun after 60 and that you can find love with a good man at this time in your life. Yes, I understand how frustrating dating probably has been for you… 3 Tips for Deciding if You Are Settling with the Wrong Man After 60. As a dating coach focused exclusively on women over 50, I have some thoughts to offer on how to determine whether you are settling with the wrong man. Men who practically trip over themselves to make you happy are great catches… 10 Biggest Online Dating Mistakes. After 25+ years working with singles as a dating coach, helping them navigate online dating from writing dating profiles to teaching effective messaging techniques, wow, have I seen the weird, the humorous – and all in between! 26 Places (You Didn’t Consider) Where You Can Meet the Love of Your Life. Have you considered meeting a man in real life versus at an online dating site? When I ask this question to the women I speak with, they often tell me they’re not sure where single men over 50 are hanging out… 3 Keys to Success with Online Dating. Well, here’s some good news for online daters! According to research firm Pew, in 2020, 1 in 3 singles met and married via online dating. As a dating coach and dating counselor, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing my clients happy – and celebrating… The Galapagos: My Love Adventure. It was a long day! I flew from the west coast in the US. Most flights connect through Panama, a delightful airport. Then it is on to Guayaquil, Ecuador. If you make the same trip, I recommend spending a day there if you can.













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12 Mistakes to Avoid When Divorcing Over 50. Divorce rates are rising for quinquagenarians and those who are older. Catherine Fredman is an experienced ghostwriter who has written five national bestsellers.

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She has 35+ years of experience as a reporter and editor. Pamela Rodriguez is a Certified Financial Planner®, Series 7 and 66 license holder, with 10 years of experience in Financial Planning and Retirement Planning. She is the founder and CEO of Fulfilled Finances LLC, the Social Security Presenter for AARP, and the Treasurer for the Financial Planning Association of NorCal. Divorce rates in the United States are declining—except for people over 50. In fact, since 1990, the divorce rate for people over 50 has doubled. “If late-life divorce were a disease,” says Jay Lebow, a psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, “it would be an epidemic.” As married couples grow older, the glue that holds many marriages together dissolves, be it children, shared interests, or financial dependence. Key Takeaways. Divorce rates for people age 50 and over are rising. Household income after a divorce drops for women much more than for men. At a minimum, you need a divorce lawyer and a certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) to help you navigate the process. Make sure to create an inventory of all your assets and your debts. Don’t forget to include retirement accounts, health insurance, and tax implications. The Financial Fallout of Divorcing After 50. Divorce at this age can be financially devastating. The cost of living is considerably more when you’re single than when two of you share expenses. More worrisome, a mid-to later-life split can shatter retirement plans. There’s less time to recoup losses, pay off debt, and weather stock market fluctuations. Also, you may be approaching the end of your peak earning years, so there’s less of a chance of making up financial shortfalls with a steady salary. These concerns are magnified for women. After a divorce, household income for women drops precipitously. In fact, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 20% of women fall into poverty after a divorce. What’s more, because women’s life expectancy is 80.5 years in the first half of 2020 (versus 75.1 years for men), a divorced woman can find herself living for a lot longer with a lot less. 80.5 Years. A woman's life expectancy as of the first half of 2020, as opposed to 75.1 years for men. A Dozen Common Divorce Mistakes. Divorce proceedings can pull the plug on your retirement dreams: legal fees, therapist bills, and single-handedly shouldering bills you once shared can drain your savings. You can protect your financial future by avoiding the following all-too-common mistakes. 1. Failing to Create an Inventory of Assets. Often one partner has a better understanding of a couple’s finances than the other. This person likely has a solid idea of how much money their investment accounts hold, the value of their assets, and how much cash is in their savings accounts, while the other partner isn’t as up to speed. If you’re the latter person, you’ll want to take an inventory of all assets before attempting to split them up. In addition to knowing what’s in your bank accounts, you should also track your retirement accounts and life insurance policies. If you are concerned about your finances, visit your local legal aid website where you may be able to pro bono legal assistance and/or representation in a civil case, if your divorce heads to court. 2. Holding Onto the House. If you end up with the family home, think long and hard about keeping it. It may be your refuge, and not moving might seem less disruptive for any children still living at home. Still, it can also be a money pit, especially with only one person paying for the upkeep, property taxes, and emergency repairs. Before deciding to stay, figure out if you can afford the mortgage and the costs associated with maintaining the property. Also, keep in mind that property values fluctuate, so don’t assume you can sell your house for the amount you need if money becomes an issue. 3. Not Knowing What You Owe. Promising “to have and to hold” can bounce back to bite you. In the nine states with community property laws—Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin—you’ll be held responsible for half of your spouse’s debts even if the debt isn’t in your name. Even in non–community-property states, you may be liable for jointly held credit cards or loans. Get a full credit report for both you and your spouse, so there are no surprises about who owes what. The nine states with community property laws are Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin. In these states, all assets that come into the marriage during the marriage through any means other than inheritance or as a gift are owned 50/50 by the husband and wife. Debts, too. 4. Ignoring Tax Consequences. Just about every financial decision you make during a divorce comes with a tax bill. Should you take monthly alimony or lump-sum payment? Is it better to have a brokerage account or a retirement plan? Will you keep the house or sell it? And who should pay the mortgage until it sells? You may be excited to know your soon-to-be-ex will be handing over an investment account with gains of $100,000, but that portfolio comes with a tax hit, lowering the amount you’ll receive. Even providing child support can have tax implications, so consult an accountant or tax advisor to determine what makes the most sense for your situation before divvying up assets. If you need assistance with your taxes after a divorce, you may be eligible for federal tax relief from the government. In order to qualify for this federal benefit program, you must be separated or divorced, and be a taxpayer. The program can help you find someone to help you with tax return preparation. 5. Forgetting About Health Insurance. If your spouse’s policy has covered you, you may be in for a nasty—and expensive—surprise, especially if you divorce before Medicare kicks in at age 65. Basically, there are three options: Your employer can cover you, you can sign up for your state’s healthcare exchange under the Affordable Care Act, or you can continue to use your ex’s existing coverage through COBRA for up to 36 months, but the cost is likely to be substantially more than it was before the divorce. If new, separate health insurance policies threaten to break the bank, you may want to consider a legal separation. Under certain circumstances, you can keep your ex’s health insurance while separating your other assets. 6. Rolling Over Your Ex’s Retirement Account Into an IRA. Individual retirement account (IRA) laws trump the financial difficulties of divorce. If you fund your own new IRA with your share of your ex’s retirement account and tap it before age 59½, you’ll still pay the standard 10% early withdrawal penalty. One solution: Protect the assets in your divorce settlement through a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO), which allows you to make a one-time withdrawal from your ex’s 401(k) or 403(b) without paying the standard 10% tax, even if you’re under age 59½.

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Article about mature men over 50:
Blair, Brad, Jimmy and other stars who make our hearts beat faster. by Christina Ianzito, AARP, 2015. George Clooney.

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Born: May 6, 1961 It was a bummer for many single ladies when the world’s most drool-worthy bachelor married leggy lawyer Amal Alamuddin in 2014. The talented actor — who manages to look even sexier with gray hair — is No. 1 in our book. Denzel Washington. Born: Dec. 28, 1954 The A-list Oscar winner, crowned People ’s “Sexiest Man Alive” in 1996, has lost none of his heat (even with that Old West mustache he grew for the upcoming remake of The Magnificent Seven ). Brad Pitt. Born: Dec. 18, 1963 Unforgettable as the outlaw hitchhiker in his first big movie, 1991’s Thelma & Louise , Pitt is simply gorgeous — and generous. He and wife Angelina Jolie donate millions to charities worldwide. Robert Downey Jr. Born: April 4, 1965 The Iron Man star is mesmerizing on-screen, due in part to his intensity. As one Washington Post writer put it: He “radiates the tangled electricity of a man who could make an emotional connection with a lamppost.” Kevin Bacon. Born: July 8, 1958 Long married to actress Kyra Sedgwick, the actor has hardly seemed to age since bringing dance to the heartland in 1984’s Footloose . And you gotta love his ads for the American Egg Board. (Get it? Eggs with Bacon.) Jimmy Smits. Born: July 9, 1955 Famous for his work on L.A. Law, NYPD Blue and The West Wing, Smits more recently played a seductive bad guy on TV’s Sons of Anarchy . He aced the role of Nero Padilla, a heavily-tattooed pimp. Jeff Bridges. Born: Dec. 4, 1949 The Big Lebowski icon is an all-around cool guy: He’s a musician, one of the least self-absorbed stars in Hollywood and a family man who’s been married to his wife, Susan, since 1977. “The Dude” abides. Jon Bon Jovi. Born: March 2, 1962 His namesake band’s megahit album Slippery When Wet came out in 1986, and the Jersey boy is still packing stadiums (and still married to his high school sweetheart) 30 years later. Bonus: He no longer has big hair. Liam Neeson. Born: June 7, 1952 The actor who often stars in action flicks is, as Time magazine once put it, “a mature, real man in an era of superhero fantasy.” And he has a lovely Irish accent and gorgeous blue eyes to boot. Lenny Kravitz. Born: May 26, 1964 Kravitz is an electrifying funk-rock musician and sometime actor ( The Hunger Games and Precious ) . He also happens to have spectacular pecs, shown off on the cover of his 2014 album Strut . Antonio Banderas. Born: Aug. 10, 1960 The Spanish-born heartthrob, famous for films such as 1995’s Desperado and 1996’s Evita, continues to throb many hearts — minus one. He and Melanie Griffith split in 2014 after 18 years together. AARP Offer. Sign up for the AARP Lifestyle Newsletter to find out about new movies, great games and travel ideas each month. By joining AARP today, you can also save on movie tickets, restaurants, airfare, hotels and more and have even more fun! Daniel Day-Lewis. Born: April 29, 1957 It’s easy to fall for this masterful actor, winner of no less than three best actor Oscars — not to mention his lyrical Irish-English accent and the soulful intelligence he projects on- and off-screen. Blair Underwood. Born: Aug. 25, 1964 Known for roles on TV’s L.A. Law and In Treatment , he’s also generous to many charities — inspiring one fan to post on Facebook: “Your hotness is just a bonus to your beautiful soul and humanitarianism.” Alan Jackson. Born: Oct. 17, 1958 The beloved traditional country star has sold gazillions of records since his first, 1990’s Here in the Real World , and is “liked” (alas, there’s no “love” option) by some 4.5 million Facebook fans. Bruce Springsteen. Born: Sept. 23, 1949 Rock’s incomparable troubadour for working-class America, “The Boss” is still on fire — performing his legendary marathon shows and countless good works. What’s not to love? Christopher Meloni. Born: April 2, 1961 Perhaps his isn’t yet a household name, but fans of Law & Order: SVU and Oz can attest that Meloni’s one of the hottest stars around. He even looked good with fangs during his stint on True Blood as Roman the vampire. Ken Watanabe. Born: Oct. 21, 1959 The Last Samurai actor is respected on both sides of the Pacific. Later this year he’ll costar in The Sea of Trees, set in his homeland of Japan. Watanabe has said, “I have no sense of myself as a sex symbol at all” — but fans beg to differ. Pierce Brosnan. Born: May 16, 1953 Having starred as James Bond on the big screen and Remington Steele on the small screen, this striking Irish actor is also a painter and a save-the-whales activist. In 2014, he revealed to GQ the words he lives by: “Be kind. Be good.” Mark Harmon. Born: Sept. 2, 1951 It’s hard to believe that the NCIS star, long married to Pam Dawber ( Mork & Mindy ), is in his 60s. Famously humble, he’s a real-life hero: He once rescued two teens from a burning car that crashed near his home. Michael Jordan. Born: Feb. 17, 1963 Many say he’s the greatest basketball player of all time, but MJ’s also one of the world’s best pitchmen: The guy could sell ice to an Eskimo. He married model Yvette Prieto in 2013 and now is the dad of young twin daughters. Richard Gere. Born: Aug.

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Just follow these tips for dating over 50 and you&#039,re bound to meet that special someone in no time. 50 Best Tips for Dating Over 50. With this advice, you'll be ready to get back out there in no time.

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Whether you're recently divorced, widowed, or just haven't found the right person yet, if you're on the dating scene at the mid-life mark, you're far from alone. According to Census data, more than a quarter of adults between the ages of 45 and 59 are single. In fact, there are 19.5 million unmarried Americans over 65. However, while there may be plenty of fish in the sea, finding a real catch is easier said than done, especially if Nixon was still in office the last time you went on a first date. After all, the dating world today is much different from the dating world even 20-plus years ago," says life coach and licensed mental health counselor Dr. Jaime Kulaga , PhD. So, how can over-50 singles reenter the dating scene with confidence? Follow these tips for dating over 50, and you'll find that special someone in no time. 1. Avoid internalizing rejections. Whether you've been single for some time or have just gotten back on the dating scene after a long relationship, nobody likes feeling rejected. However, try not to take it personally when you don't match with someone on a dating app or don't hear from them again after a few flirty messages. "Social media has improved dating, increasing the selection of people you can meet, but it has also posed some problems, too. One of those issues is the ease in rejecting people. In fact, on some platforms with a simple swipe to the left or right you can reject someone. But this rejection is not to be taken to heart," says Kulaga. "With how many people you can meet online, think of rejection as a time saver as opposed to something that is wrong with you. Mister or Miss Right will come along, but you need to remain confident in who you are and open-minded to the people that come your way." 2. Expand your usual age limits. Even if you've only dated people around your age in the past, why limit yourself now? While dating someone 10 or 20 years older or younger than you may have been a big deal in your 20s and 30s, you'll likely realize that there isn't that much of a difference between a mature 38-year-old and a 58-year-old, or even between a 50- and 70-something. 3. Ease into talking about sensitive subjects. "Many fifty-somethings have built business and careers, are putting children through college and have even faced some health issues. But, on the first few dates with someone, it is not appropriate to focus on how much money they have in the bank and if they have health issues," says Kulaga. "The first few dates should be getting to know each other's personality, a little about their family, likes, a few dislikes, and fun life experiences. If date one jumps right to the serious and tough parts of life that even take a toll on the strongest couples, you may be weeding out (or they may be weeding out) some really amazing people to have fun with." 4. Don't be afraid to make your needs known. Just because you're not 22 anymore doesn't mean you have to accept any kind of relationship that's offered to you. If you're over 50 and still want to play the field, or you're looking for someone who shares a passion for traveling instead of spending nights in, it's your prerogative to be honest about those wishes. Don't compromise and find yourself in a relationship you don't really want. 5. Embrace your age. "Feel confident and sexy as opposed to finding ways to hide your age or lie about it. At some point, your age is going to come forward anyway—don't lie about it today and then have to find ways to come forward with the truth later after you really like someone," says Kulaga. "Talk about fun life experiences you have had and the goals you still have. Show your age and wisdom in fun, exciting ways that make people want to be a part of your journey." 6. Listen attentively. If you haven't been on a date in some time, it may be hard to contain your excitement, meaning you end up talking more than listening. However, if you're eager to land a second date, make sure you're actively listening to the person you're with—feeling heard goes a long way toward building trust. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. 7. Don't expect things to be the same as when you were 20. Dating isn't necessarily the formal affair it was when you were younger, so don't assume that you need to get your best suit ready, buy flowers, or get your hair done just to grab a cup of coffee with someone. Similarly, now that you're older, don't expect that things will get physical as fast as they did when you were younger. 8. Use photos on your online dating profile that reflect how you look currently. While it may be tempting to obscure your lines and wrinkles by using a filter or by posting an antique image or far-off photo, there are plenty of people out there eager to date people who look like you—just the way you are today. 9. Send a few flirty texts. Who says that a little digital flirtation is out of the question just because you're over 50?

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Article about sex dating for over 50s:
The Fascinating Truth About Women and Sex Over 50. Woman over 50 are willing to let go of the myths that have held them captive. Key points.

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After age 50, women often let go of long-held body image issues, trauma, and emotional wounds. For some women over 50, their focus begins to center on their relationship with their own sexuality. Letting go of perceptions of what sexuality is about can help women over 50 have positive sexual experiences. For many women, turning 50 triggers their sexuality alarm clock. This emerging interest in sex life often results in the best sex they have ever had. There is a willingness in a woman over 50 to finally let go of the myths that may have haunted her for her entire life. She may be ready to let go of long-held body image issues, trauma, and wounds from past heartaches or failed relationships, and even abuse. She may find she finally has the time and the means to discover herself sexually, and this exploration has now become a priority in her life. She simply cannot tolerate missing out on what is possible for her, and often sets out on a journey of sensual self-discovery. For many women after the age of 50, if there are children, they are mostly independent. Their career and financial security are more certain. Women at 50 are no longer fighting to establish a marriage, a career, or a family. They are ready to do something different and their focus has suddenly begun to center on their relationship with their own sexuality. Women need to let go of the idea that after the age of 50, women have a diminishing or lower libido post-menopause. That does not have to be true. Letting go of perceptions of what sexuality is about can help. Sex After 50. Sex is not more about a partner's pleasure. Somehow many women have this notion they are only supposed to get sexual satisfaction from or after the sexual satisfaction of their partner. While she can certainly take pleasure from interacting with her partner, the reality is that both she and her partner can manifest greater satisfaction by focusing only on her pleasure. Women need to discover that their job in bed is no longer about getting the partner off efficiently and neatly. When they learn to speak their own desires (not an easy thing to learn if they don't really know what they are), they are able to invite their partners into their pleasure. Making that shift in perspective can lead to better sex for everyone. Stop worrying about “taking too long” to achieve pleasure. The wonderful thing about sex after 50 is that you have more time and space to explore touch. If you feel like you are taking too long, put aside that thought in a very conscious way. Learn to take the time you want and need to explore every nuance of your sexuality. Over the age of 50, bodies do change. Lubricant can enhance pleasure and prevent painful intercourse. There are many different kinds on the shelves, even coconut oil can be helpful. The idea of Real Sex" may need shifting. Real sex is not just about intercourse and orgasm. The best sex often does not include either one. Shifting the emphasis from orgasm to touching, kissing, stroking. Being creative and welcoming curiosity can allow new sensations. Women have as much erectile tissue in their pelvis as men do in their penis. It's just that women are not taught about it, and many feel uncomfortable fully exploring their own bodies. Sex can be better after 50 than at any other time in your life.